“Thank god I brought my....” A heroes guide to Equipment.

At a get together with fellow chaps who share my Nerdly leanings, amongst other topics, We happened upon the subject of Equipment and how encumbering it would be to a Adventurer. This got me thinking about Movies, TV Shows and Books and how heroes port their goods... and soon the fury was ragging!

BECAUSE THEY DON’T!!!! Sure you may see a pathetic excuse for a backpack, or a quiver with maybe 5 arrows ( Which pisses me off because in the next scene the hero fires like 100 arrows) but you’ll never see them humping some huge pack up to the wizards tower or even so much as put a box or two of shells in their pocket.

Why? They have the miracle of Plotronic intervention, “Hey its dark in here, thank god there is this old bone, a length of cloth and petrol bubbling from the ground so I can make torches”, everything goes their way, they are heroes. Authors and Directors don’t want to bog us down in the minutia of real world logistics. Nothing pisses me off more then to see a guy running around Blasting away with a tommy gun and he isnt even carrying pouches for Magazines so we can kid ourselves that he has reloaded at some point.

Food and Water, Heroes in Movies and books just leap out a window and go running off on quests and adventurers without so much as a thought to consumables. Animals just drop dead at their feet, or better yet, in some form a bizarre naturalistic ritual suicide, they pluck their feathers, impale them self on a spit and cut their heads off.... all because the hero is so damn good. Having had to carry food and water in packs... Its a Bitch.

I guess Games go the exact opposite direction, for some reason, when you play a hero in a MMORPG or RPG you now have to worry about every fricking contingency. You should not be alarmed though, because your hero not only carries A backpack, he can carry 5, full of suits of armor, dozens of weapons, countless glass viles of potions, tons of loot and a amazing array of treasure... without even making the pack straps strain nor explaining just how someone carries 5 backpacks.

One thing that decades of Fake war have taught me, I don't want to be carrying one rifle let alone 5 or 6 and the accompanying ammo. Yet in any game you can have dozens of weapons secured to your body to use at anytime, or worse, a plasma cannon shoved into your trouser pocket (after all, a siege tower takes up as much backpack space as a squirrels tooth.

I realize that in one instance, that of Movies and TV... it is for entertainment value, The script writer will just conjure something if it is important. I am sure in books some authors, afforded the luxury of space and time may describe or explain the heroes burden and I am sure in gaming, its money value, people are going to pay to play games that allow them to Uber themselves out, to switch from their leather jacket to Mk VII power armor ( held in their belt pouch) in 0.2 seconds instead of one that says “ Well thats the weapon you have on your belt... good luck friend”.

Two extremes, the north and south of it all, I wonder if real life is the happy median.